This is very sad and some what graphic, just wanted to let you know before you read it!
I was very touched and saddened by a 11 year old girl yesterday, she has been in my thoughts since. I met this girl and her 10 year old sister about 2 years ago, their mother is a friend of my neighbor. Their mother has been in a very abusive relationship for a while now and these two children have witnessed it all.
The girls were at my neighbors house yesterday because of a horrible event that happened this past weekend. Their mother and father got into another fight, he was drunk and high and he beat her. This was not his usual beating, he would not stop and to hear the girls describe what they saw is just absolutley heart wrenching!! The 11 year old jumped on his back and told him to please stop and he threw her off, smacked her across the face and just kept beating her. The 10 year old little girl excaped outside and called the police. When they arrived, he still did not stop!!! He destroyed her eye socked, leaving her eyeball dangling on her cheek. She was very badly beaten up and is now blind in that eye. He is in jail, thank God, but these girls will never be the same! The girls are rotating shifts to take care of their mother, one stays with her for a night and the other will come to my neighbors. Anyway it was the 11 year olds turn to go to my neighbors house, her and my oldest daughter are friends. She came to our house and the first thing out of her mouth was the story of what had happened. We asked her if she wanted to spend the night and she did. My goal was to try and get her mind off of it, but I did not succeed to well. She talked about it all night, and boy did I feel for her. Like she had not been through enough, she tells my daughter and I that she has no friends, my daughter asked her why? She said “Because I ‘m fat and ugly” This just did it for me, I could not help the tears, I gave her a hug and told her to please not talk about herself that way. She is a beautiful girl and I told her this but she kept insisting that it was not true. She said that she gets made fon of at school all the time and has spent a lot of time in the bathroom crying. She even told us about a time that she missed a test, because she was in the bathroom balling her eyes out from some bully. I told her to pray next time that happens.
She has been robbed of her childhood! There is no more innocence, she has seen way more than I have ever seen. We have embraced these girls with open arms. My daughter has been so good to her and this just warms my heart, but I wish we could give them so much more! I wanted to get this story out there and ask all of you to please pray for this family, expecially these children who have been through so much. This is what they need right now, Thank you! God bless all of you, and I hope you have a wonderful day!
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WOW!! What a horrible story. Thank god they have some wonderful people they can talk to who they know they are safe with. Children have to go through enough nowadays they should not have to endure watching their mother get abused on a regular basis. That woman should be ashamed of herself. She needs help. Hopefully this is a wake-up call and she gets herself and her daughters the help that they all desperately need. God bless…my prayers are with you.
It is people like you who give this girl a change to not repeat the cyle that her life has been. All it takes is someone to give them a little boost and it can make the difference between her turning to drugs or alcohol or sex for her pain and her becoming a stronger person. Thank goodness for your family and your neighbor’s family, thank goodness that these kids have someone like you for support.
Wow! Estel, now you have me in tears. I am so proud of you for your deep compassion in dealing with this situation and thusly sharing it with all of us. Rest assure that I will be praying for the family especially the innocent girls and mom who as you say are blemished for life. Thank God He exist and justice can be served. Love you honey! mom xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Thank you so much!!! please keep them in your prayers!
We will pray for them and just can’t understand how these things keep happening. KY has the worst rate of spouse abuse in the nation. We need more safe shelters. I see the same pattern in the daughter of an in-law. Not that bad but pretty awful. I cannot understand why the women put up with it. And keep their children in it! When the family want to take her in and help her and the children, she refuses and gets very angry. Life. Prayers, Marge
Wow Estel — thank you for sharing so that we can also pray for these girls and their mom. And, for that family — thank you!! you may never know how your actions are affecting their family. But i know that God will bless you richly because of it. Your compassion is overwhelming and just what that little girl needs.
GOD BLESS YOU!!!
Well I sure am in tears after reading this horrible story. OMGoodness, those poor girls. But how blessed they are to have you in their lives. See how God puts us into people lives when we are needed. Those poor innocent girls needed you and your daughter. How proud I am too of your daughter reaching out like that…like Mother like daughter.
I’ll certainly be praying for the girls and their mother. How unfair life can be sometimes.
Thank you all so much for your kind words and all the support! I really do appreciate it.Thank you also for the prayers! Their mother also needs lots of prayers! She has put her daughters through a lot, but her self-esteem is so low and she is so depressed that it is impairing her judgement. I pray that God gives her the strength to get back up and change her life around! Her daughters need her!
My prayers are also with this family but I want to touch on the issue of why women allow this to happen to them. They don’t allow it, it happens. These men have issues and know how to use them…first the beat down there self esteem then they seperate them from freinds and family, then comes the physical abuse. They trap these women into feeling they have no where to turn and even with shelters it is hard to leave. The shelters aren’t much better than life at home, or so they think. The mindset is “I just won’t do anything to upset him anymore and then everything will be fine.” The man gets in their head and makes them think it is their fault. It is an awful situation it the best way to fight it is to make strong family ties with our own daughters and teach them to be strong, that is the only way to break the viscous cycle. Women in general have the worst self esteem issues (read these blogs and you will see)and these men feed on that. Teach our daughters that they are beautiful and smart and worth a million and they will be strong.
My oldest daughter’s father put his hands on me. Once. I was gone in one week thanks to some extremely supportive friends. My Grandmother had taught me from the time I was tiny that if a man raises his hands to you once, he’ll do it again. She also told me daily how I was worth more than that. Looking back, I wonder what she went through that put that on her mind so much, but she is gone now and I can’t ask her. However, I remind my girls all the time. . . Hopefully they will wind up with a loving husband like mine!
Tell those girls every chance you get how special they are, and love them as much as you can. Give them my love, too, and tell them that God made every little girl a princess who deserves a prince.
Kellyluck, you are so right. I know. I was there for 32 years. After a major blow up he would say.. “You made me do it! You know how to push my buttons, and you do it on purpose.” I thought, maybe in some way he was right. Why else would I stand up to him and say “go ahead and hit me, if it makes you feel like a big man”….. why would I do that? I still don’t know. He died many years ago, but I still get upset when I read about women in this situation, and especially when someone says “shame on them”. Do you think for one minute they wouldn’t leave if they weren’t terrified of what would happen? I left, as far away as I could go, but not til after the kids left home. I didn’t even tell them where I was going and I lived in fear every time I saw a maroon Jeep. I just knew he would find me and kill me. It was really hard not to show joy when he died. But the kids still love him, choose not to remember the ‘bad stuff’. So we just don’t talk about him. Ever.
We really do need to put ourselves in others shoes before we can pass judgement. It is so hard for the children though, but in the end they need their mother. I have met their mother and she is a great person. She does feel alone and her self-esteem is lower than low! I really feel for her. I did not blog this but her husband actually called her frome jail ( while she was in her hospital bed) and said I am sorry for doing that to you, know can you please get me out of jail. You know what she said after all that……I miss you too, but I can’t! I do not even know where she found the strength to talk to him, let alone be so kind! I hope that she does find the strength to start over with her girls, she truely deserves it!!!
Thank you all so much for all your encouragement and support! I am sorry Heatheranne and Sandie that you had to go through that! Thank you for having the courage to share your stories! You have helped me to see it from a differnet view! Heatheranne, thank you for your love and I will share it! You are right, god did make every little girl a princess who deserves a prince!
Thanks again, all of you will never know how much I appreciate the support!!!
You and your family are doing something so wonderful for these girls. They will always remember you for that.
I will pray for them. What a sad story.